Time and Tide
by StoriUrahara
Summary: "In the end you just get tired. Tired of the struggle, tired of losing everyone that matters to you, tired of watching everything turn to dust. If you live long enough, the only certainty left is that you'll end up alone." One-shot.


**Disclaimer; I do not own the rights to Doctor Who, nor do I mean to infringe on BBC's copyright for publishing this work of fanfiction.**

**-x-**

**"The flow of time is always cruel. Its speed seems different for each person, but no one can change it..."  
****-Legend of Zelda**

**-x-**

The Doctor stood in the lower deck of the TARDIS' console room, watching Rose as she studied the monitor and tried to understand the Gallifreyan symbols scattered across the glowing screen. As he watched her tuck a loose strand of porcelain hair behind her ear, he had to stop himself from falling for her even more.

Time was such a cruel thing. Everything he loved was doomed to be destroyed by the perpetual turning of the gears on the metaphorical clock of the universe. He watched his race die in the Time War, his companions wither and fade in the ceaseless oscillation of the pendulum, civilizations rise and fall... He had seen galaxies and suns collapse and burn, worlds implode and become no more than an unstable minefield of debris.

After all his nine-hundred years, one would think that the Time Lord was impervious to most things; that he would not be susceptible to something as petty as attraction to another being.

But try as he might, the Doctor could not deny the fact that Rose was unlike any other companion he had ever traveled with. Sure, they had all been individuals with their own personalities, styles, and quirks, and maybe he had felt something more to one or two of them, but Rose was so much more than that.

He loved the way she smiled with her tongue between her teeth, the way her eyes sparkled with the excitement of adventure, the promise of a good time, the guaranteement of an instance in which a lot of running would be involved.

He adored the way she yelped whenever she saw a spider; the merciless way she beat it to a pulp with her shoe. He especially liked the adorable way she would pout when he scolded her for it, slouching grumpily in the navigator's chair with her arms crossed and her lower lip protruding just enough to get the message across.

He cherished the way she looked at him when the rest of the universe was quiet, with nothing but peace and sheer happiness radiating from her soft brown eyes. He relished the times when their eyes met in the middle of a dangerous situation, the adrenaline pumping through her veins making Rose's chocolate-colored eyes shine brightly.

He knew how much she loved him, and how much he loved her, but the Doctor also knew how much it would hurt when Rose would have to go.

She would be like every other companion he had traveled with. They moved on or went away; they always left him, empty promises and meaningless vows in their wake. Of course they couldn't stay, he understood that, but the lonely Time Lord couldn't bear losing his Rose. He knew that, despite her promises, despite her unwavering loyalty, one day, she would have to leave him. The Doctor wanted more than anything to have Rose by his side for eternity; just the two of them against the world as they danced through space and time.

As the Time Lord mulled over his dilemma, Rose turned and looked at him, smiling broadly as she caught his eye. It was then that Rose noticed the scrutiny of his gaze, the intensity that was swirling inside his deep mocha eyes.

"Something the matter, Doctor?" The Time Lord, as if broken from a trance, blinked rapidly and shook his head.

"Nah," he grinned, giving Rose his winning smile. "Just thinking about where we should go next. I'm thinking Barcelona. We never did go to Barcelona. Ooh! We should have bananas! Bananas in Barcelona!" Rose studied the Doctor, not convinced in the slightest.

"Something's wrong, Doctor," Rose insisted, crossing her arms over her chest. "You gonna tell me, or I will have to sit here and guess all day?" The Time Lord was dumbed into silence by Rose's sudden straightforwardness.

"Ah, well," he spluttered, not knowing how to respond.

"You gonna elaborate on that?" The Doctor smiled inwardly. Rose's sass was still in use, which was a good sign, since she usually went no-nonsense when she was really annoyed.

"Ah, just stuff," he shrugged nonchalantly, rapping his knuckles against the side of his head. "It gets pretty cluttered in here; sometimes I need a few moments to catch up." Rose was unconvinced.

"Doctor," she said, more serious than she was. "I've seen you when you're thinking and I've seen you when you're brooding. Right now, you're brooding, which means something's wrong." The Doctor blinked, again surprised by Rose's vigilance. Her gaze was holding him place; not in fear or by force, but by the sincerity in her big brown eyes. The Doctor let out a sigh, feeling his resolve crumble as he tried to think of some excuse. He didn't realized he had made any audible noise until he heard Rose tsk.

"Use your words, Doctor," Rose chided, only half teasing. "I can't hear you when you mumble."

"I'm afraid of losing you!" He snapped, looking Rose directly in the eye as the words slipped out, unbidden. "You say you'll stay with me forever, but humans wither and die. I can only regenerate. You could spend the rest of your life beside me, but I could only spend a few moments of mine!" Rose was shocked into silence at the Doctor's outburst, not knowing what to say or how to respond.

As for the Doctor, he looked away from her, ashamed. He didn't mean to put it like that, but when it came right down to the point, he had said it as truthfully as he could. All that remained was to wait for Rose to process what he had said and respond.

"Doctor," Rose began slowly after a few moments of silence had passed. "I know how hard it must be to watch friends pass on while you remain the same as the day you met them, but I think if you cherish the moments spent with them rather than despair over their short lifespans, you could find peace with their passing."

Rose's words struck him deeply, and the Doctor had to look up at her to make sure she wasn't reading something out of a book. When he found that those words had come straight from her heart, he felt a strange mix of emotions welling up inside his chest.

"Does that go for people you love, as well?" His whispered words were pointed at his feet in hopes that Rose wouldn't hear. Instead, he heard her sharp intake of breath and knew she had heard him loud and clear. The TARDIS was probably responsible for that one.

For a few moments, nothing happened, but when the Doctor heard Rose cross over to him, he looked up at their eyes met, his own sadness mirrored in Rose's.

Wordlessly, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his cheek, giving him a quick peck before she drew back and looked into his eyes again.

"I won't live forever, Doctor, but as long as you want me to, I'll stay by your side." Rose's simple statement rocked the Doctor to his core, and the truthfulness in her eyes melted his hearts.

"Oh Rose," the Doctor breathed, taking Rose's cheek in his hand. "I want you forever." With that, he pulled Rose up to meet her lips with his own, and they shared a tender first kiss.

Which then lead to more desperate, passionate ones. Somehow, the two ended up in Rose's bed, physically and emotionally bare to each other as they joined in body and soul. They fit together perfectly; as if their bodies had been sculpted to fit against each other. Every curve of Rose's body fit the Doctor's, and he relished the warmth of her body against his as they wound down from their meeting.

As she fell asleep in his arms, the Doctor held her tightly to his chest, wanting Rose to be his and his alone forever. He never wanted her to look at another person ever again; to only see him and the universe as they floated through the stars.

But the Time Lord couldn't bear to say such selfish things out loud. He didn't deserve that; not after all that he had done. He had been at the head of time's cruel flow for innumerable years, had watched worlds rise and collapse, seen the fall of civilizations, and the eradication of entire species; he didn't have the right.

So he just whispered it to Rose as she slept in his arms; the yearning in his two lonely hearts:

"Forever mine, only mine."


End file.
